Off to Go Conquer the Dutch
Tomorrow morning at some ungawdly hour, I will be leaving for the tropical clime of Amsterdam. I will be clad in cowboy boots and Springsteen shirts, mostly because I hear that Europeans are totally excited when an American comes around being super-American. I might even bring a Captain America shield. What of it?
All that being said, I have a bone to pick with the executives at Staples and Universal Pictures there, as well as the U.S./European trade economist based at the embassy. See, they roll out the red carpet for me when I am coming to town, like when Jay-Z goes to Washington. The casino is also prepared for me, as I intend to finance most of my trip and the rest of my college education by leveraging my existing student loans. Only good decisions and humility occur when I head to Europe, and you may see me on the news preaching my wisdom to throngs of citizens a la Reagan or The Obama Himself.
Among the things that interest me about the fair city of Amsterdam are the supremely efficient sea containment system, which apparently works so well that the Army Corps of Engineers decided to consult them when needing to rebuild the New Orleans levees. I am equally inquisitive about their health care system, which is privatized like the American system but (apparently) with much less complaining. I intend to investigate the complaining as well. I will also be intrigued by the beverage of choice (gin), which they apparently like to age and then drink neat. I intend to study this “jenever” while also studying the local “futbol” culture. I am an academic in all things, see.
I would like to say that I will be able to contribute to this fine website whilst abroad, but I have no intention of letting blogging interrupt my business or cultural studies. I hope to read much of the fine writings of Mr. Scoville and Ms. Krintz upon return, and I hope they keep you entertained while I am away. Until then, keep rocking in the free world.
